Just For The Fun

Just For The Fun, presents; A Large amaunt of greate humor here evry day starting from right now!! Yeee..
^^

- "Har jeg ikke set dig før?"
- "Jo, jeg arbejder på klinikken for kønssygdomme..."

Hahaha ^^

Alle børnene kastede med håndgranater undtagen Preben, han greb dem.

Alle børnene kom levende ud af den farlige jungle, undtagen Alexander han blev voldtaget af en salamander.

How do you keep a moron busy?
Look Below.




How do you keep a moron busy?
Look below.


Humor!

The Golden Toilet


A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn't quite remember the address to the house. ''I'm sure this is the one," said the driver. ''Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD.'' Replied one of the others, ''I'll go knock on the door, and check. If it's the wrong house, at least I'll get to a toilet!''

So he gets out and walks to the front door. He rings it once....No answer. He rings it again.....Still no answer. So, he thinks, ''This is a big house, big party, maybe the party is outside, in the backyard.'' So he walks around the house to the back, there was no one out there either. As he aproached the back door, he was suprized to find it unlocked, and opened. There was obviously no one home, so he figured he'd just quietly run inside real quick, and use there bathroom, no one would know. So, he goes inside but he can't find the bathroom anywhere. So, he quickly ran up the stairs and searched, and searched, till finally as he opened a door to a small room, he was amazed to find a GOLDEN TOILET. He had never seen anything like it, but remembering that he was in a stranger's house, and that they could at anytime return home, he quickly did his business and walked out. As he got in the car he excitedly told his friends of the AMAZING GOLDEN TOILET. They laughed in disbelief at his crazy tale. They pulled out of the driveway, arguing about it. They argued the whole way to the party.

A couple of hours later, on the way home from the party. They drive past the house with the GOLDEN TOILET. And they guy insists on stopping so he could prove to his friends the these people really did have a GOLDEN TOILET. So, they agree to check it out. So they all walk up to the front door and ring the door bell. And a woman answers the door. ''Excuse me maam, but could you please let me show my friends here your GOLDEN TOILET, they don't believe me!'' ''So YOU'RE the guy!'' The woman replies, then yells to her husband in the house, ''HONEY!?!...HERES THE GUY THAT POOPED IN YOUR TUBA!'''

HAHAHA, HAHAHA, HAHAHA This was fucking good! hahaha... lol!

...People Who Can Count


Confucious say,
-''There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.''

The Law of the Jungle


Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him.

''Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?''

''I don't have to run faster than that tiger,'' his friend replied. ''I just have to run faster than you.''


Hahaha, Hahaha..

Til ALLE! rigtige humor fans!!
Borat har udgivet en bog!!! Den hedder
"Borat
-Kazakhstan"
Det er så nice!! kan kun købes på amerikanske hjemmesider.

Bed Football


An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"

His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."

Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."

The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"

He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"

so Bad it rocks! xD hahaha..

True [Stupid] Crime Stories
It´s True ppl!!! omfg!

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false police report after he called 911 to report... his own murder. The man told the operator he had been "murdered, beaten, possibly kidnapped and thrown down on a bed of spikes." Police found the man a short time later, still on the convenience store pay-phone he had used to make the call. "It was obvious he hadn't been murdered," said one of the arresting officers.

NO... WE'RE JUST GLAD TO SEE YOU

Two wildlife collectors were caught at a Texas border crossing when Customs agents found snakes in their underwear. The men had tied the snakes into pantyhose and stuffed them into their groin area to sneak them across the border from Mexico. Customs inspectors noticed the bulges were wiggling and ordered the pair to drop their pants. The inspectors found 14 snakes -- including a boa constrictor -- hidden in the men's pants, boots and pickup truck. The inspectors say they suspected at first that the men were smuggling narcotics... but in the words of one investigator, "drugs don't move around like that."

SAFETY FIRST Four masked gunmen entered a bank in Jackson, Mississippi armed with automatic weapons and pulled a daring daylight heist. The bank's armed security guard didn't intervene to stop the robbery... because he was too busy hiding in the bank's bathroom. The guard told police that when he heard people in the bank screaming, he went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Jackson police declined to criticize the guard's actions, noting that he could have been killed if the robbers had seen him.

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT "DOPE?"

A man who showed up at the Knoxville, Tennessee, police department for a court-ordered safe driving class never made it -- he ended up in jail instead. Police say the man was killing time waiting for the class to begin by smoking a joint in the police station parking lot. A passing police cadet smelled the odor of marijuana and approached the man's car. When he spotted the uniformed cadet, the man backed out of the parking space so quickly he almost ran over her. The man drove out of the police lot...parked at a bank across the street... then returned to the police department property for traffic school. He was arrested instead. Good news for the luckless motorist: he wasn't charged with a drug offense. The bad news: he was charged with aggravated assault with a vehicle.

OUR EXPERTISE IS FREE. AND YOU WILL BE TOO...IN ABOUT TEN YEARS

A pot farmer in Franklin, Tennessee was undone by his ego, a roll of film and an alert employee of a photo store. Franklin police commander Larry Barnes explains:

"This old boy had these nice plants growing...and he took some nice 35-millimeter shots to show to his friends." Unfortunately for the suspect, one of the photo experts at Wolf Camera & Video recognized the plants in the pictures and made a call to police. Officers who searched the man's residence found a well-equipped indoor pot-growing operation set up in one of the home's closets.

OH. WHEN YOU SAID 'CLEAN IT,' I THOUGHT...
An alleged drug dealer was arrested in Vero Beach, Florida after he took the wrong bag to the cleaners. When a worker at the store opened the bag he found, not laundry, but three pounds of marijuana.

DON'T WORRY MAN... I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING
A group of drug smugglers hatched a plan to empty the tank of a propane truck and use it to smuggle six thousand pounds of marijuana across the border from Mexico into Texas. Though clever...the men were not too bright: they were caught because they misspelled the name of the gas company they had painted on the side of the truck.

NOW THAT'S WEIRD...

A woman in Bulls Gap, Tennessee reported to police that she was assaulted at her home by a man who struck her twice in the head with a dead squirrel and pushed her into a bathtub.

BET HE HAS TROUBLE FINDING THE TV REMOTE TOO

A Conyers, Georgia man who bought a used Mercedes convertible then reported it stolen found out that the car was equipped with one extra accessory he didn't know about: a LoJack anti-theft tracking device. When police activated the device, they were able to quickly track the car down: it was parked in the man's basement...along with three other cars that had recently been reported stolen.

LOOKS LIKE AN INSIDE JOB

A seven-year employee of Arizona State University in Phoenix was arrested and charged with stealing money and compact discs from a campus office. She has been charged with breaking and entering, burglary, and possession of burglary tools. The suspect is the coordinator of crime prevention programs at ASU. She was arrested at her office -- which is located at the Phoenix police department.

WAKE UP, POPS... BEFORE SOMETHING STUPID HAPPENS! A 72-year old murder defendant in Little Rock, Arkansas fell into a sound sleep as he awaited his case to be announced. He was still asleep when his two daughters and a public defender entered a not-guilty plea for him. At about that same moment, a man sitting next to the slumbering defendant shook him awake. Aroused from his slumber but not fully aware of the proceedings, the man jumped to his feet and shouted, "I plead guilty!" The judge in the case allowed the original not-guilty plea to stand.

HEY WAIT A MINUTE -- THIS AIN'T THE GAP!

A robbery suspect in Suffield, Connecticut made a wrong turn while fleeing police and ended up in the lobby of a high-security prison. The suspect was being pursued by police who had spotted his car as matching the description of one used in a robbery a short time earlier. During the chase, the man pulled into the parking lot of Macdougal Correctional Institution, leaped from his car... and ran into the front lobby. "I believe he thought it was a mall," said one of the arresting officers. "But I've never seen too many malls with a razor wire across the top."

AND FINALLY...

Two thieves caused several thousand dollars damage to a funeral home in Arab, Alabama recently while trying to steal gas from a flower van parked outside the building. The pair had used a knife to cut a hole in the van's fuel tank and were draining the gas into a container. The plan fell apart when one of the thieves lit a cigarette lighter so they could see how much gas they had gotten.

This shit is true!! crist.. but fun hahaha

Horsing Around in the Bar


A farmer walked into a bar with a horse. He said, "I will give any of you $1,000.00 if you can make my horse laugh."

A man jumped up from his stool and yelled, "I'll take that bet" and proceeded to lead the horse into the men's room.

After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh could be heard from behind the door. Then the farmer screamed to the man "OK, Mr. Smart Guy, I'll give you $2,000.00 if you can make my horse cry."

The man replied by shouting, "You're on!"

And then, after a few more seconds, the man exited with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asked, "How did you do it?"

The man replied, "I said that my dick was bigger than his and he laughed. Then I showed him it!"

Hahaha, Hahaha

Woman from Ealing
-Absurb poem.

There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling.

She lay on her back, opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling.


Hahaha..

Solitary Confinement Woes



Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement.

They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes.

At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy's cell. He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific."

They open up the second guy's door. He comes out with his wife, and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it."

They open up the third guy's door, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"

XD bad ass.. hahaha..

Knights And Birth Control
-Absurb poem.


In days of old, when knights were bold,
And condoms weren't invented,
They wrapped their socks
Around their cocks,
And babies were prevented!

Hahaha, perfeckt for an english poem essay Hahaha, try ppl.

Le Stinkers


Why do the French Smell?

So blind people can hate them too!

Hahaha, Hahaha, Hahaha..

A police officer saw a car speeding...


A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, "Pull over!"

The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"

Hahahahaha, Hahaha.. [can´t breath]

Name That Flower


-What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin?

Answer: Two lips [Tulips. Get it?].


Hahaha..

Flying Time

Why did Bill throw the clock out the window?

To see time fly!

Hahaha..

Dirty Riddle

What is long, hard, and stiff, is used inside a warm, wet place, and gets moved back and forth for the best effect?




Answer: Toothbrush.

Hahaha, Hahaha, Hahaha.. Fun, Fun, Fun..

De er fucking fede de jokes stor ros til dig!

hvis der andre der har nogen jokes så kom med dem!

Think Santa Claus Is A Woman...


I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... - Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. - Cupid flies around carrying weapons. - Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!

Hahaha..

Kæft du har skrevet mange ;O

Don't Leave 'Em Hanging


Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Hahaha..

Golf Genie


A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.

They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"

"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.

The husband asked, "Are you a genie?"

"Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.

The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.

The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"

The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."

The husband and wife agreed.

After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"

To which she responded, "Three years."

The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"

To which she replied, "31 years old."

The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"

One-Armed Jock


An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."

hahaha,
-forestil jer det er jeres klasse lærer xD

Unfaithful Wives


Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

I'd Rather Have a Puppy


A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having sex.

The little boy asks his father, “Daddy, what are they doing?”

The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?”

The father replies, “Making a baby.”

The little boy says, “Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy.”

Fatter i den? [hvis i gør er den sjov ]

Smart Pills


One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''

''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.

So he ate them and said, ''These taste like shit.''

''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''

Perfect Man, Perfect Woman


There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.

One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up.

Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived.

Who died and who lived?

The perfect woman, because the perfect woman and elves aren't real.

[Men piger kan nu være tæt på nogle gange xD, ikke drenge?]

With a "Y"


-How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: -That's "womyn" with a Y, and it's not funny!

Blonde Jokes...Or Are They?


How many blonde jokes are there?

None, they're all true!

Baseball Heaven?


Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

-What is the likeness of The beatles and a Blonde ladys legs??

Answer: -They both haven´t ben jointed since 1970´

XD hahaha

Ducks and Elephants


Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.

Don't Leave 'Em Hanging


Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

L'er du har for meget liv...

Spil wow eller sådan noget xD

Admin skrev:L'er du har for meget liv...

Spil wow eller sådan noget xD

Hahaha, nej gidder ikke spille wow det er meget sjovere at læse jokes ^^ og så kan jeg ligeså godt dele dem med jer xD hahaha..

Men de er da ret goe?

[Er der overhovedet nogen der læser dem?]

Århusianer Jokes;

1, Hvorfor har Århus ikke noget ishockeyhold??

- De druknede under sommertræningen!

2, To lastbilchauffører fra Århus kørte gennem nogle små gader. De kom til en tunnel og et skilt: "Højde 4,8 m". De steg begge ud og målte deres bil, 5,3 meter.

- Hvad skal vi gøre? spurgte den ene.

Den anden chauffør kiggede sig lidt omkring, og tog så en hurtig beslutning:

- Ikke en betjent i nærheden, vi tager sgu' chancen..!

3, Hvordan gør man en århusianer rundtosset?
- Man beder ham tisse i hjørnet af en tønde

4, En århusianer der er kommet ind på en fin restaurant i undertrøje bliver stoppet af tjeneren.
- De må ikke være herinde uden at have jakkesæt på!
- Det forstår jeg ikke, siger manden. Der står nemlig "No smoking" på skiltet der

5, Sidste uge styrtede en helikopter ned på en kirkegård i Århus.
Foreløbig har man fundet over 300 døde...

xD

Politi jokes:

1, Præsten ringede til politiet og bad dem fjerne en død gris, der
lå foran kirken.
Da politiet ankom var de tydeligvis irriteret over at skulle
tage sig af en sådan opgave.
Det ene af betjentene vrissede ironisk til præsten:
- "Det var sørme godt du ringede til os. Det er vigtigt for
samfundet at vi bruger tid på sådanne opgaver."
- "Ja, jeg skyndte mig også."
- "Jeg troede at I præster magtede selv at tage Jer af døde?"
- "Det gør vi også - men først underetter vi eventuelle pårørende."

2, En mand havde kørt for stærkt og var så uheldig at blive
stoppet af politiet.
Mens betjenten var ved at skrive bøden gik manden og
skumlede.
- "Jeg ville gerne stille et spørgsmål, men det er kun af ren
nysgerrighed."
- "Hvad drejer det sig om?"
- "Må man godt sige 'svin' til en betjent."
- "Det får du i hvert fald en stor bøde for, så det vil jeg
ikke råde dig til."
- "Hmmm...Må man så godt sige "Hr. betjent" til et svin?"
- "Tja, det siger loven vist ikke noget om."
- "Nå, men så farvel, Hr. betjent."

3, Telefonen ringede hos narkopolitiet, og en mand sagde: Jeg vil gerne anmelde min nabo. Han gemmer narko i sit brænde.
Straks kom narkopolitiet, endevendte og kløvede alt brændet, men de fandt ingenting. Dagen efter ringede naboen: Havde du besøg af narkopolitiet?
-Ja
-Og kløvede de alt dit brænde?
-ja, da
-Okay, så er det din tur til at ringe. jeg trænger til at få gravet min have...

4, En mandlig spritbilist bliver stoppet af en kvindelig betjent som siger "alt hvad du siger kan og vil bliver brugt imod dig", hvor efter bilisten råber "fisse"

XD

Her er en hjemmeside til dig!!!! Alle sammen!! se den, det tog 100år.. ^^

http://you.justgotowned.com/[url]

-Hvad kalder man en båd fyldt med amfetamin????

Svar; En speedbåd!!!

En mand sidder i en taxa.
Da han prikker chaufføren på skulderen løber denne skrigende bort.

Efter et par minutter kommer chaufføren tilbage og siger:
"Det må du undskylde. Jeg er kun vikar - normalt kører jeg ligvogn!"

Hvad er ligheden mellem en græsplæne og en kvinde?
-De skal begge slås og holdes nede!!!

Mand og kone er på kunstudstilling og falder over et interessant maleri. Maleriet forestiller tre helt nøgne sorte mænd der sidder på en bænk i en park. To af mændene har en sort penis, mens manden i midten har en lyserød penis. Parret kigger forundret på maleriet, da kunstneren kommer hen til dem. - "Det er mig der er kunstneren. Kan jeg hjælpe med noget?" Manden svarer: - "Næh..vi undrer os bare lidt. Du har malet tre afrikanske mænd, der sidder helt nøgne på en bænk. Men hvorfor har ham i midten en lyserød penis, når de andre to har en sort?" - "Ah...I misfortolker maleriet. Det er ikke afrikanske mænd. Det er irske kulminearbejdere og ham i midten har været hjemme i frokostpausen.'

Se det er dårlig humor xD hahaha

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

DenGuddommeligeOgAlmægtig skrev:Her er en hjemmeside til dig!!!! Alle sammen!! se den, det tog 100år.. ^^

http://you.justgotowned.com/[url]

Den virker ikke -.-'

En kræftig opfordring piger!!

Hvis det stod til mænd sagde den perfekte kvinde:

1. Jeg sluger det hele..... jeg elsker smagen!
2. Er du sikker på du har fået nok at drikke?
3. Jeg keder mig. Lad os barbere min mis.
4. Skulle du ikke ha været på værtshus med dine venner?
5. Det var en flot prut ! Slå en til !
6. Jeg har besluttet at gå nøgen rundt i huset.
7. Du er så sexet, når du har tømmermænd.
8. Jeg vil hellere drikke øl og se fodbold, end gå ud og shoppe.
9. Kunne du tænke dig at se mig slikke den af på min veninde?
10. Lad os gå i storcentret, så du kan se på kvinderøve.
11. Jeg går lige ud og maler huset.
12. Skat....naboens datter tager solbad... kom og se!
13. Jeg ved det hul er meget strammere, men vil du ikke nok prøve?
14. Lad mig skifte olie på bilen.
15. Din mor er bedre end min.
16. Hey, hvad siger du til at vi lejer en pornofilm, køber en kasse bajere og inviterer min veninde over til en trekant?
17. Hør, jeg tjener nok for os begge. Skulle du ikke sige dit job op og få lidt bedre tid til din golf?
18. Hvis jeg ikke snart får lov at give dig et blow-job, eksploderer jeg!
19. Jeg har meldt mig til yoga, så jeg kan få mine ankler om bag min nakke.
20. Ville det ikke være federe, hvis vi købte en Ferrari og så solgte huset?

please piger husk det..

Hørt i forsvaret:
-Petersen, hvad gør man hvis en kvindelig soldat smider en håndgranat efter en?
-Man trækker splitten ud, og smider den tilbage!!

Et dansk, engelsk og et amerikans par sad ved morgenbordet.
Så siger den engelske mand til hans kone - will you pass me the honey, honey ?
Amerikaneren ville selvfølgelig overgå englænderen, så han siger - will you pass me the suger, suger.
Danskeren kigger over på de to skvat, og råber - GIV MIG MÆLKEN DIN KO !!!!!